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February 22, 2021

Field Notes | if i wanted a boat

Hey! Thanks for reading. I’m just over 100 days into this job and I’m in the mood to share. I had an impulse to: 

  • share what we’re working on at Pacific Theatre 
  • share what I’m learning as I take on this leadership role
  • share a documentation of this wild time we’re navigating as a theatre company and sector
  • share the work of others that is inspiring or challenging me
  • share a dialogue with our community

We’re calling it Field Notes because it’s going to be little notes from the AD field – questions, meditations and stories inspired by life at the theatre. Maybe I’ll do some interviews, or have guest writers – who knows. We’ll build on the Soul Food Blog, where Ron shared work that was of interest to PT folks for many years. We’ll create this together, whatever it’s going to be.

Welcome here. 

Emily Cooper’s 2020-21 season artwork

I read a Mary Oliver poem this morning. (I’m reading a lot of MO right now because I love her, and also because I started writing a play about her. Maybe I’ll share more about that project in a future blog).

IF I WANTED A BOAT

I would want a boat, if I wanted a 

boat, that bounded hard on the waves,

that didn’t know starboard from port

and wouldn’t learn, that welcomed

dolphins and headed straight for the 

whales, that, when rocks were close, 

would slide in for a touch or two,

that wouldn’t keep land in sight and

went fast, that leaped into the spray.

what kind of life is it always to plan

and do, to promise and finish, to wish

for the near and the safe? Yes, by the 

heavens, if I wanted a boat I would want

a boat I couldn’t steer.  

This poem makes me laugh. It reminds me of living (and leading) in the pandemic right now – how seductive it is to “wish for the near and the safe”. But nothing has felt comfortable, or safe, on this boat ride so far and I’m ok with that. I want the kind of boat Mary talks about here too. One that is leaping and adventurous and not risk-averse. 

This morning I thought about how some of these days feel like treading water. Like we’re all hanging in, until we can get the vaccine, until we can see each other again, until the threat subsides. The treading water days are when we catch our breath after the stormier ones. Some of the past 100 days at PT have been spent bailing-out-the-boat, or patching up holes in the ship. Other days we’re looking at the rigging and asking questions. “Is this the best way for us to get where we’re going? Are there other sails we should use?”. I’ve tried to keep a clear view of the horizon, but it’s sometimes cloudy, or we get turned around. The compass stops working. 

And this is where the metaphor ends because I’ve never actually sailed a boat.

BUT. 

I’m here, we’re in the water and I’m excited about where we’re headed. It’s not going to be easy and it’s promised already not to be “safe”. Let’s see where we go.

-k

P.S. – one of the gifts of pandemic days is that I have more time to be in communication with our community. If you want to talk with me directly my email is kaitlin@pacifictheatre.org. It may take me a few days, but I will always respond to you. I would love to get a note from you, in fact. How’s your boat?

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